My first fanfiction

[Morgause]

I decided to take courage (thanks to ladygiry!) and show you a storie write by me. This is the first one I write directly in english, so probably isn't very well writed. Please, feel free to correct me. Hope you like it!


Another night of vigilance… Valérie Giry is looking throw the window, asking to herself how much time he will survive. “Just God knows, madam, just God knows” said the doctor yesterday, “A week, five days or just a few hours, I can’t be more precise”.
Valérie sees the dark sea, down there in the beach. Everything is so quiet. Johannes finally sleeps; is the only way to calm his pains. She doesn’t know what to do anymore to help him and it desperated her. Johannes Daae made everything he could to help her; now it’s her duty to stay next to him till the end…
Valérie leaves the window and sit next to his bed, watching him. “It’s a piety that I never could return his love for me…” she thinks. One year passed since their left the Opera Populaire together. Despite the confusion that her heart was, she will never forget the first time she saw Johannes. It was during the rehearsals of a new opera where she was the leading ballerina. She needed to dance a very complicated solo accompanied by violin and no one of the violinists was able to do it in perfection. So Messieur Lefevre hired the famous Swedish player, Johannes Daae to do it. And since the moment he puts his eyes on Valérie, he realise that was impossible to forget her. She was the most beautiful women he ever seen in his life! And how she danced!
Since that meeting he tried and tried to conquest her and one night he was succeeded! She kissed him at her bedroom’s door! But he never understood why she looks so fearful and nervous in their next meetings. “He never knew Erik” thought Válerie, “and never saw what he can do!”
After the end of the show, he proposes to her leave everything behind and goes with him, just bringing her daughter, of course.
“Please, come with me” he begged while hugged her, “I love so much, I can’t be without you…”
“I would like to go with you but I can’t, Johannes, I can’t…”
“Why? Why you can’t?”
“I just can’t leave everything I built behind… I’m the leading dancer of this Opera and I have a daughter…”
“Meg will come with us, of course, and you don’t need to dance anymore, I can perfectly provide a good life for all of us! It’s something else, Valérie, something else that frights you and you never tell me!” he answered.
Valérie looks to him, terrified. “Yes, its Erik” she thought, “it’s Erik my reason. He loves me and I love him too, despite of everything I told him… But his love is so obsessed and suffocated. And Johannes is offering me a possibility to escape from him. Should I accept it?” she thoughts while Daae hold her close. “My head says yes, but my heart… It would be good to Meg have a family and stay aware from Erik, even he was her father…”
“All right, I accept, Johannes, but we need to leave this place now!” she reply.
“Why, Valérie?” he asked with surprise. “Why all of these hurry now?”
“Don’t asked, just say that we are going to leave this night!” she supplicates. “If Erik suspects of something…” she imagined, “You will be dead certainly…”

At the beginning everything was right. She, Johannes, Meg and Christine (his little daughter) moved to a beautiful house near the sea. Johannes introduced her to everyone as his wife and no one doubt about it. Christine and Meg became best friends and spent all the days playing in the beach together. Life was quiet and happy there. Till Johannes get ill… Since then, everything changed. Nobody knows exactly what he has; no doctor can alleviate his pains.

Johannes moves in his bed and Válerie awakes from her memories. “Valérie, are you there?” he asks with effort. “Of course I am, darling” she answered while passing her hand in his face, “Of course I am”
“I’m dying, Valérie, I’m dying, I won’t pass this night, I know I won’t…”
“Shh, don’t say these again, Johannes, don’t say this again…”
“Please, Valérie, promise me that you will take care of my daughter, please”
“Of course I will, Johannes. Do you believe I will not? Johannes? Johannes? Oh my God, please Johannes, are you listening to me?” She asked perturbed.
She puts her hands on his shoulders and shakes him very gently, but nothing happen. Válerie removes her hands tenderly and withdraw behind. Tears start to fall from her beautiful blue eyes. After all, she liked him has a good friend, and he loved her so much…
Valérie walks to the mirror in front of the bed and looks to herself. The mirror returns to her the image of a young and beautiful sad girl. “The dream ends… Now it’s time to return” she says low, “Time to return to all; time to return to Erik…”

[ladygiry]

Hhmm...interesting take on things...very interesting take on things. And excellent first attempt. And very well written, only with a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there. But other than that it was very good.

[Morgause]

Thanks!!!

[ladygiry]

^^

[Kierah]

POST MORE. Oh my gosh. I am now addicted to your writing. It's a fabulous take on the situation and your writing is lovely.

[Morgause]

Oh thank you so much! I swear that I didn't expect this reaction! You are all very nice!

[Morgause]

I'm working in a new POTO fiction! I will post it after I finishing the translation!

[Morgause]

Ok, here it is, my sequel to "Another night of vigilance". It's not finished yet but I would like to know your opinion about it. These one was beta-readed by our dear Ladygiry so it will be free of my usuall mistakes!! I hope sinceriously that you enjoy it! And thank you very much Krystal for your help! It was priceless!


Everything looked the same, as if she had never left it… Valérie Giry entered her old room and gave a look around. Yes, everything was the same as she remembered. She felt as if time had stopped…
She dropped her suitcase in the floor, too tired to care about it. Meg and Christine were sleeping in the ballet dormitory, both exhausted. They have travelled all day from the North to Paris.
Valérie took off her gown and opened her suitcase, searching for a nightdress. She found one and changed into it. All the Opera Populaire was in a deep silence… Valérie laid down on her bed and turned off the oil lamp at her bedside table, and immediately fell asleep.
Suddenly, she awoke in the middle of the night with a strange feeling, a feeling of being observed. She turned on the lamp and saw a face, half covered with a mask, watching her in the shadows… A face she was expecting since she had crossed the doorsteps of the Opera Populaire.
“Erik…” she said, trying to show no emotion in her voice. He was even more handsome than she recalled… He was no longer a boy; he was a man, and a very attractive one, despite the mask. His features were strongly designed and she could see his muscles underneath the clothes. Her heart started to beat faster but she tried to ignore it.
“Valérie… what a surprise… I thought you had left this Opera to never come back… Something went wrong in your fairy tale, didn’t it?” He asked his voice as cold as ice.
She sat on the bed and gazed at him courageously and replied indifferently, “I don’t know what you are talking about it, Erik.”
He became upset, his eyes even more furious, “You don’t know?? You don’t know?? It’s obvious that I talking about your escape with that Daae! Your escape from me! Or you are going to deny it? I always knew that you were escaping from me!! I know that he offered you a well-supported life with everything you could ask! I thought that you loved me, Val, but you didn’t! You left me for all the things he could give you! After all the things we said to each other, all the promises we made, you left me for him!”
“Erik, you will never understand! Do you really think that I left you because of Gustave’s money? How could you think such monster thing of me?” She shouted with rage, tears starting to fall from her beautiful eyes.
Erik approached her even more, his green eyes looking sharper than ever, “And so, where is the bastard now? Did he get tired of his dancer doll and throw you and your daughter back in the Opera?”
Valérie looked down and answered, “He is dead…”
Erik’s expression smoothed a little. “What?” he asked, a bit more gently than before.
“Dead. Some unknown disease… I took care of him till the end… And after he was dead I didn’t anywhere else to go so I decided to come back to the only home I have ever known… this Opera. And he wasn’t as rich as you think, Erik, it’s true that we lived well with the money he gained as a musician, but nothing more, the only thing that he left me was his daughter.”
“Ah, so that’s it… I was wondering who the little girl that came with you and Meg was…” Unexpectedly, Erik grew angry again and screamed at her once more, “But the fact that he is dead doesn’t invalidate the fact that you ran away from me!”
Valérie grew frightened by this madness and tried to rise from the bed, but Erik caught her before she could and grasped her by the shoulders, shaking her violently while shouting at her, “Why, Valérie, WHY?”
She began to weep more and tried to escape from his violent behaviour, “Leave me, Erik, leave me!”
“ANSWER ME!”
She grabbed his face with her hands and he stopped shaking her. Valérie looked straight into his eyes and said, “Erik, I went with him because I felt suffocated by you! But it was a mistake! The biggest mistake of my life! Please, believe me! I never loved him! It was you that I loved and I still do!”
He released her and she fell to the floor, trying to wipe away her tears.
Erik moved away from her and whispered accusingly, “Whore!”
“Please Erik, forgive me!” She begged from where she sat on the floor.
He sat on the bed, his heart so confused, the feelings raging within him oscillating between rage and love.
Valérie rose from the floor and walked towards him, sitting next to him.
Erik turned his back to her and hid his face between his hands so she couldn’t see that he was crying.
She hugged him from behind and rested her head against his shoulders. “I love you Erik, you are the only man that I have ever truly loved,” she spoke softly.
He turned his head to face her and fixated his eyes on the women in front of him. “How beautiful she is…” he thought, while his eyes travelled around her face, appreciating every detail: her brown hair, messed by his violent actions, which framed her outstanding features, the deep blue eyes, and the red mouth. She was a truly angel!
Tenderly, Erik put his hand on her chin and drew her lips to his, kissing her softly, understanding how much he had missed her.
She closed her eyes and delivered herself in his hands, kissing him as she had thought she wouldn’t ever be allowed to do again.
He started to pull her against him, breaking the short distance between them, his hands caressing her neck and back.
“Oh Erik, I’ve missed you so much,” She murmured sweetly, “I will never leave you again, never!”

[ladygiry]

You already know I like this a lot but I'm saying it again! ;D

[Incapability]

awwww ... anger and forgiveness and awwww

[Morgause]

Thank you!